* I love Summer *

Friday, March 31, 2006

I Shouldn't Be Here

i knoe i shldn't lie to her in the first place.. but i felt she deserves better.. but after awhile, i regretted and wanted to tell her.. but i realised it was too late.. she had a 约定 with me.. it took me quite awhile to find another 约定 for her..

she was the 2nd blog i visited that day.. after mine, cos i wanna read what she wrote in my blog first.. i was very touched by what she wrote in my blog.. sometimes at nite, i feel very lonely in camp.. tat's when i began thinking and thinking.. 2 yrs is not a short time.. can i made her wait for me?? will she realli wait for me??

i have no one to discuss with.. i have no one to talk to as i din wan my bunk mates to worry me.. there were many worries in my mind.. i wanted to give her up.. but i realised many times no matter wat, i knoe i can't..

i teared in bed many nites, looking at her pic, writing my little diary.. i read her old msgs times and times, over and over again.. with that, i thot i'm not gd enough for her.. i decided to lie to her.. i told her i follow the alphabetical orders in my favourites.. but as a matter of fact, her blog was way above everyone else's..

i realised i can only say my true inner feelings in my own world.. where readers are mysterious, where writers are mysterious, where people can choose to believe or not.. this blog will remain a mystery for as long as it is.. mayb one day, she'll stumbled across this blog and perhaps she will decide to believe me or not..

now i can only live with my regrets for the rest of my life.. why did i have the stupid thinking in the first place.. i shld have known i'm the only one for her.. but why at the point of time i din think of it??

i made her cry and cry and cry.. there's only my last memory..

but keeping the bus stop.. the same bus stop where we met..

i love you, summer, forever..

i'm sorry for hurting you..

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SummerLove winks
at |11:56 PM|