Sunday, February 26, 2006
What Kind of Boyfriend I Am..i'm very sorry towards
her.. for liking someone like me.. for everyone who knoes me, most of them got to knoe my temper first.. just like
summer.. i can like anybody in the world, but it's hard for me to fall in love..
meeting
summer, perhaps could be one of the best thing that happened in my life, and it well could be her worst nitemare.. firstly, i like to be attended most of the time, which means whenever i want her to be by me, she has to be by me.. i like to be given full attention from her.. and anything which i dun like abt her, i'll say it out..
and bcos of this, often i hurt her feelings.. when i want something, i always insist of having it and thus, this makes
summer in a very difficult position.. i always told myself that i'll neva be one of those possesive kind of boyfriends that will hurt their gfs and in the end, they'll neva have a gd ending..
i must admit i'm more towards the possessive kind.. and many a times, she gotta attend to me first before anything else.. she got to put everything on hold, just to talk to me or reply my smses.. and bcos of this, i always feel that i'll never be gd enough for her..
i must say, walking so long into this relationship with her, was never an easy stroll.. many times i realli feel like giving her up and to prevent myself from being sad.. we have broken up many times and each time, i just feel some bits of feelings fade away.. but time seems to prove everything wrong.. it seems that after each breakup, i just feel more in love with her..
she'll never tell another soul how badly i treated her and this makes me very ashamed of myself cos i always confide in my buddy and said quite abit of nasty things abt
summer.. she always give me a feeling that i'm not someone of importance to her.. it's like, whether i'm here or not, she'll not care, neither will she bother..
so why shld i still continue to be with her, and make myself more miserable?? perhaps u can say i'm cheap, or perhaps u can say in this world, there wont be anybody to like me anymore.. but i believe, it's that i knoe in this world,
no one will ever love me as deeply as she does..
it always bring a tear in my eye, simply just thinking abt this.. there are some qns i always wanted to ask her, and i believe i've asked her many times which she doesn't have an answer.. i always have a sense of guilt towards her.. i knoe that eventually one day, i'll have to let her go.. but i also knoe for her, i truly found someone i can lean on, and also a confidant who understands me so well..
i can never express my sorries to her and how much i owe her for what i am today.. the good memories, the bad times.. the laughters, and of course, the tears.. memories is what we created like chapters of a story.. it doesn't always have to be happily forever after.. but it could be a neverending story..
she will continue to stand by me, i knoe.. even though we may have our disagreements quite a few times but i believe we'll solve it by ourselves.. no one else is able to help us, but ourselves.. my temper is something which i'll never be able to get rid but have to contain in within.. i shld spare more considerations to her feelings before i express my anger in certain superficial things..
as her bf, i fail to bring her only happiness, but also lots of sadness which many times, she too, gave both hands up and surrender to her fate.. i knoe that even if i die tonite in my sleep, i'll die the way she always wanted me to be - a confident guy who knoes what he's doing and able to give happiness to the one he loves the most..
i used to think that i can lose anything in me, except my sight.. but now, i want my eyes to see the most beautiful thing on mother earth, i want my ears to listen to the sweetest voice ever and my lips to tell her how much i thank her for staying by me.. in another 2wks, i'll bidding gdbye to her and enter my national service..
many things will change.. my hair will go, my social life will go, my freedom will go, but my heart will always stay.. there's one thing that will never change, i'll always keep falling in love with her.. i spent quite a few moments to think thru what i wan to write before typing everything in.. cos i dun wan to miss out anything then regret after that..
whatever i do, or whatever i say, will definitely brings abt a consequence which can be good or hurtful.. i dun wish to hurt this little lady of mine anymore.. and for this, i can only say..
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SummerLove winks
at |12:56 AM|
